RELEASE DATE: January 22nd, 2018
GENRE: New-Adult, Contemporary, Romance.
I crawled into Ryan Jensen’s bed that first night by accident.
I barely knew him. I thought it was his sister’s bed—her room. It took seconds to realize my error, and I should’ve left…
I didn’t jump out.
I didn’t get embarrassed.
And that night, in that moment, it was the only thing I craved.
I asked to stay. He let me, and I slept.
The truth? I never wanted to leave his bed. If I could’ve stayed forever, I would have.
He became my sanctuary.
Because—four hours earlier—my twin sister killed herself.
“There are layers of pain inside me. Pain that I can’t put into words, and underneath it all is hell. It’s raw and bloody. Agony. Suffering. Torture.”
This book was an emotional roller coaster ride! Tijan’s books are either a hit or miss for me but I really wanted to give this book a chance because I’ve heard great things about it. This book was heart wrenchingly good. It hit me right in the feels and I was left emotionally drained. I wasn’t really into the story at the first half because it felt like a typical YA romance but damn the second half totally changed my mind. Ryan’s bed was completely different from Tijan’s other books. It not only deals with loss, grief, acceptance, and healing but it also deals with sensitive issues like suicide and depression. I think it’s the best book of Tijan so far and I really loved it.
“I felt her everywhere, Sitting next to me, Standing with me, Walking beside me.
She was me, but I wasn’t her anymore.”
Seventeen Year old Mackenzie is the only normal child in her extraordinary family. Her eleven year old little brother is a boy genius and her twin sister Willow is a popular student who excelled at everything. Mac always felt like an outsider in her family. One day, her whole world turns pretty much upside down when she finds her twin sister dead. Mac don’t know how to deal with her twin’s suicide. Then she meets Ryan Jenson who’ll soon become her safe haven. Ryan is the school’s star basketball player, when he finds Mackenzie on his bed he gets pretty surprised to find a girl on his bed but after learning her situation, he can understand what she’s going through. They build a emotional connection which soon becomes something more. Ryan wants to help with her grief but Mac thinks she’s totally broken and she’s beyond saving.
“I didn’t want to have memories in my head, making me feel things I couldn’t handle.”
Mackenzie and Ryan are pretty great characters! Mac was vulnerable yet strong character. Her inner turmoils and how she coped with her twin’s death really made me sad. She makes some stupid decisions which annoyed me a bit but I still enjoyed her character development and her journey to healing. Ryan was such a sweet and caring guy. He’s another flawed character that I really liked. I quite enjoyed the relationship between Mackenzie and Ryan, and how they found solace in each others arms. It’s really not a slow burn romance but it’s not an insta-romance either. Their relationship started off as friendship but soon it turns into love. I loved the chemistry between them. There was lots of angst and sorrow. As for the other characters, I also loved Mac’s little brother Robbie. He’s totally adorable and I really enjoyed the sibling relationship between him and Mac. I hated Mac’s parents at the beginning when they ignored her living daughter but it can be understandable that they’re also coping in their own way too.
“In Ryan’s arms, I felt a little less crazy. I felt a little better. And I felt a little bit more whole.”
The story began like any other typical ya romance but slowly it became intense when things starts to unfold. Hence begins the journey to heart wrenching feels. The author did quite well in portraying the loss and grief and how it effects the whole family in the story. The pacing was slow but I think it’s the perfect pace for this book. There is a tiny mystery in the plot which unveils at the end and it totally surprised me. I really didn’t saw that coming. The author’s writing style was addictive and captivating throughout. The whole story was told from Mac’s POV but I wish Ryan’s POV was also included in it.
“Somehow, some way, Ryan had become necessary to me. He shielded me, protected me. My head was above water with him. Without him I would sink. I would drown alone.”
Overall, I loved it! It’s not your typical YA/NA contemporary romance, it’s a story about loss, grief, healing, depression, family, friendship, and love. This book delivers a great message and I would like to remind that it is a mature YA and some themes may not be comfortable for young readers.
I highly recommend this book to everyone who loves heart wrenching books!
MY RATING:[4/5 Stars]
So, What do you think of this book? Have you read this yet? Do you want to read this book?
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